at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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