I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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