Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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