I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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