Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
