oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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