It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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