He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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