I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
