I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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