sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
