My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
