is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
