you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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