i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
