I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
