So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My ass is underappreciated
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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