Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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