Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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