Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
