her vagina looked like bernie madoff
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
