erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
