I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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