it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
