I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
