i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Everclear isn't food dammit
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize