508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm always down for nudity.
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