I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
