Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
