i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
