Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
