oh god the rape fog is back!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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