...so i touched it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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