I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize