i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
