I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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