soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
