My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
