Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
