this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do vagina's smell?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
