hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
