dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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