You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize