I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
