i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
