Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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