Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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