So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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