I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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