i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize