Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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