I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
