I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
