I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
