You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
