If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
