Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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