Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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