Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
