He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
